I’ve been told “NO” a lot in my lifetime… Like that time around my 18th bday — My mom refused to let me get a lower-back tattoo that said “Forget Me Not.” SOMEHOW she failed to see just. how. brilliant. the idea was. (For the record, I did it anyway… sure did. Go ahead and judge me, I deserve it. Turns out mom was right about that one. #WhatWasIThinking )

Hearing “NO” has never really been a problem for me… I didn’t get the job? No biggie, I’ll start my own company. No appointments available for 2 months? Ok, I’ll call every day until there’s a cancellation. You don’t think we can survive a long-distance relationship? Um… yes we can, yes we did, and now we’re married. I see “No” as a challenge, and challenges are fun.

These days, the word “No” has changed to “Negative.” As in, “Your pregnancy test is negative…. again.” We’ve received 17 negatives, to be exact. And can I be honest? This last one almost broke me. Hearing the word “no” has become much harder than it used to be.

But you know what? “No” is still a challenge to overcome. And we are down for the challenge. With the help of our incredible doctor, we’re fighting harder than we’ve ever fought before. As I type this, I’m looking down at my arm that’s bruised from all the blood work. My eyes are heavy from all the appointments. We’re overwhelmed. We’re scared. But we’re so, so hopeful.

Share this post if you agree that success should be measured by how many times you refuse to give up after failure or tag a friend that needs to be reminded. We’re not giving up, friends (and neither should you). Bring on month 18. Here goes nothin’… -Kaylinn

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Read my previous posts about our infertility journey here.

The End