I almost deleted this photo because it’s hard to tell if I’m laughing or crying. For the record, I was laughing. Jenn told me NOT to put my hand over my face when she was taking this photo… but it’s this nervous thing I do when I’m in front of the camera and it just happened. Sorry, Jenn!

Yesterday was my birthday (I didn’t post about it yesterday because it was Kelly + Paul’s wedding blog day and I wasn’t about to steal their adorable thunder) So… here I am, one day late, posting a laughing/crying photo and reflecting on the beautiful craziness of this past year.

This photo is appropriate because my 35th year was full of laughs — like those times I secretly recorded Jeff singing and dancing his heart out in the car (umm… he’s got some moves!)

There have also been some tears (and by “some,” I mean lots). There is no way to sugar-coat it… infertility just sucks. If I’m being honest, my 35th year was one of the toughest so far… but I wouldn’t change it. The beauty is in the laughter AND the struggle, and this was a beautiful year.

So my 36th year is HERE, and I have a sneaky feeling it’s gonna be a great one. I plan to laugh more. I plan to cry less. I plan to kick infertility in it’s pesky little behind. And of course, I plan to continue secretly recording Jeff’s brilliant car-dancing moves. Come along with me for my 36th-year journey (and stay updated on our journey to having a family) by following us on Facebook andย Instagram! -Kaylinn

The End