Our journey towards a family...
(Read my previous posts about our journey to have a family here.)
I don’t like the word “infertility.” It feels sad. And it makes people feel uncomfortable. But if I’m being real (and this post is gonna be real), struggling with infertility really IS sad… it really IS uncomfortable. I’m hoping a sad, uncomfortable post is ok today, friends… because that’s where Jeff and I are at.
We just completed our second round of intense, side-effect-heavy fertility treatments. I didn’t get my hopes up in the first round, but this last round felt different. After receiving good reports from the doctor all month —“Things are going so well, there’s a strong chance of twins!”— we got the call yesterday… I am not pregnant. Again.
It’s been 16 months since we started trying. This was our SIXTEENTH “no.” And let me tell you, it gets a little more difficult each time. So Jeff and I decided to drown our sorrows at Red Robin late last night, because let’s be honest, there are few things that bottomless fries cannot fix. I’m constantly being reminded how lucky I am to have a man that will hold my hand through the good, the bad, and the really sad. In these past 16 months, I’ve been cranky, hormonal, excited, fragile, angry, hopeful — you name it. And in the middle of it all, there he sits… loving me, holding me, and taking me to Red Robin when it all becomes too much.
The door to having a family is still closed for now. And so, we wait. Some days with more patience than others… but always with hope. This is only the beginning for me and Jeff, no matter how big or small our family is.❤️ -Kaylinn